Loving-kindness meditation, also called metta, is a practice in which you silently repeat phrases of goodwill, first toward yourself and then toward other people. It comes from Buddhist traditions and is now widely taught in secular mindfulness programs and meditation apps. Instead of focusing mainly on the breath or body, loving-kindness works with intentions and feelings of warmth and care. Many people find it a gentle counterbalance to more focused practices. This guide explains how loving-kindness meditation works and how to practice it with an app. It is general information. If you are dealing with depression, trauma, grief or other significant difficulties, talk to a qualified professional about what practices suit you.
How loving-kindness practice works
A typical guided session goes something like this:
- You get comfortable, sitting or lying down, and let your breathing slow a little.
- The guide invites you to bring yourself to mind and silently repeat a few phrases.
- You then bring to mind other people in turn and repeat the phrases for them.
- The session often ends by extending the phrases to all beings or everyone everywhere.
Common phrases include variations of:
- May I be safe.
- May I be healthy.
- May I be happy.
- May I live with ease.
The wording varies between teachers and apps, and you can adapt it to language that feels natural.
The usual sequence
Many traditional and app sessions move through a sequence such as:
- Yourself
- A benefactor or loved one: someone it is easy to feel warmth for, such as a mentor or friend
- A neutral person: someone you see but do not know well, such as a shopkeeper
- A difficult person: someone you find challenging
- All beings
Some versions start with a loved one rather than yourself, because many people find it easier to begin there. Beginners often skip the difficult person until they are more comfortable.
Common variations
Apps and teachers offer several variations on the basic practice:
- Self-compassion practices focus on kindness toward yourself during difficult moments, often with phrases such as "May I be kind to myself."
- Compassion practices focus on wishing that others be free from suffering, rather than wishing them happiness.
- Visualization-based versions invite you to picture the person clearly or imagine warmth spreading outward.
- Phrase-free versions simply ask you to hold a person in mind with a sense of care.
Try a few to see which feels most natural.
Finding sessions in your app
Look for sessions labeled loving-kindness, metta, compassion or kindness. Many apps include them in courses on compassion, relationships or self-kindness. Session lengths often range from a few minutes to around twenty minutes. Start with a short session. See meditation app session length habits.
If your app does not have loving-kindness sessions, you can practice unguided with a timer, repeating the phrases at your own pace.
When it feels awkward
Many people feel awkward or self-conscious repeating phrases, especially toward themselves. That is common. A few suggestions:
- You do not need to feel anything in particular. The practice is about intention, and feelings may or may not follow.
- Change the phrases to words that feel more natural to you.
- Start with a person or pet you find it easy to feel warmth toward.
- Keep sessions short at first.
When difficult feelings come up
Sometimes loving-kindness practice brings up sadness, grief, anger or numbness, especially when thinking about yourself or a difficult person. Teachers often describe this as a normal part of practice. You can:
- Return to an easier focus, such as a loved one or your breath
- Open your eyes and take a break
- End the session and try again another day
- Skip the difficult person entirely
If practice consistently brings up strong distress, stop and talk to a qualified professional. Meditation is not a substitute for care.
Fitting it with other practices
Loving-kindness can be practiced on its own or alongside other styles. Some people do a few minutes of breath focus first to settle, then move into loving-kindness. Others alternate days. Our guide to meditation styles explained describes how different practices compare, and body scan meditation with an app describes another common practice.
Short practices during the day
Loving-kindness also works in short moments: silently wishing well to people you pass on a walk, a colleague before a meeting or a family member at dinner. Some apps include brief "kindness" exercises for the workday. See short meditation breaks during the workday.
Posture and setting
You can practice sitting, lying down or walking. A quiet spot helps for longer sessions. Some people place a hand on the chest during the phrases. See building a quiet meditation corner.
Journaling afterward
Writing a few notes after practice can help you notice changes over time, such as which phrases feel natural or which people are easier to include. Many apps have journaling features; see journaling features in mind apps.
Research and expectations
Loving-kindness meditation has been studied by researchers interested in emotions and wellbeing. Results vary between studies and individuals, and it is not a treatment for any condition. Approach it as a practice to explore rather than a guaranteed outcome.
Children and families
Some apps offer simplified kindness practices for children, using simple phrases and short sessions. See mindfulness apps for kids and teens.
Checklist
- Find loving-kindness, metta or compassion sessions in your app
- Start with short sessions
- Adapt the phrases to words that feel natural
- Begin with an easy person if self-directed phrases feel hard
- Skip the difficult person until you are ready
- Take breaks if strong feelings come up
- Combine with breath or body practices if helpful
Bottom line
Loving-kindness meditation uses simple phrases of goodwill toward yourself and others. Start with short guided sessions, adapt the words, begin with people who are easy to care about and step back if difficult feelings come up. It can sit comfortably alongside breath and body practices.
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